Long-Distance Relationship Statistics and Success Rates

Most LDR statistics floating around the internet trace back to one or two small studies, or to marketing polls, repeated until they sound canonical. This page separates what peer-reviewed research actually found from the numbers that have been over-extrapolated or can't be traced at all. Every figure below names its source; the full references are at the bottom.

What is the success rate of long-distance relationships?

Short answer: nobody knows the true figure. No study has followed a representative sample of long-distance couples from start to finish. What we have are three kinds of evidence, and they carry very different weight.

• The "58% succeed" figure. This comes from an October 2018 OnePoll survey of 1,000 American adults who had been in a long-distance relationship, commissioned by the sex-tech company KIIROO. 58% said the relationship had worked out. It's a self-reported marketing poll, not peer-reviewed research, and "worked out" wasn't defined. It's often wrongly credited to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships.
• Comparisons with nearby couples. Kelmer, Rhoades, Stanley and Markman (2013) followed a US national sample of unmarried adults. Long-distance partners expected a lower chance of breaking up — and at follow-up they had broken up at about the same rate as couples who lived close. Distance by itself didn't make breakup more likely.
• Large panel data outside the US. Using the German pairfam panel (ages 20–40), Krapf (2018) found couples living an hour or more apart were somewhat more likely to separate, and less likely to move in together, than couples living closer — mainly when both partners were employed. When neither partner was working, distance made little difference.

The honest summary: distance doesn't doom a relationship, but it doesn't protect one either. The factor that keeps coming up — in research and in the couples we've spoken to — is whether there's a realistic plan to end the distance.

What percentage of LDRs stay together once they're back in the same city?

The best-known data point is Stafford, Merolla and Castle (2006), a study of college dating couples. About half of the long-distance relationships in their sample ended while the couple was still apart; the other half reunited. Of the couples who reunited, about one-third broke up within three months — so roughly two-thirds were still together at that point. We don't have good longer-term figures, and we found no reliable data on couples who break up during the distance and later reconcile once they're in the same city.

Popular LDR numbers, rated

How common are long-distance relationships?

• Married couples living apart (US): the Institute for Family Studies, citing US Census Bureau data, reported in 2016 that roughly 3.5 million US married couples live apart for reasons other than separation or impending divorce. That includes commuter marriages, military postings and other arrangements — not all of them would call themselves "long distance."
• The "14 million couples" figure (and its companion "3.75 million married couples") is widely repeated but traces to a c. 2005 estimate from the now-inactive Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, with no published methodology. Treat it as folklore rather than a statistic.
• College students: Guldner (1996) estimated that about 25% of college students were in a long-distance relationship at the time of his survey. Higher figures — up to about three-quarters having one at some point — are commonly cited from Stafford's (2005) review, but they vary with how "long distance" is defined.
• Germany: in the pairfam panel, about one in five couples who lived apart in 2008/09 lived an hour or more from each other (Krapf, 2018).
• Meeting online: Rosenfeld, Thomas and Hausen (2019) found that about 39% of heterosexual US couples who met in 2017 met online, making it the most common way couples meet. Some of those relationships start at a distance, but we know of no reliable figure for how many.

Satisfaction and stability

• No quality penalty. Guldner and Swensen (1995) compared 194 people in long-distance relationships with 190 in close ones and found no significant differences in satisfaction, intimacy, trust or commitment. Dargie, Blair, Goldfinger and Pukall (2015) likewise found long-distance daters were not at a disadvantage on relationship quality.
• Sometimes a quality bonus. Kelmer et al. (2013) found long-distance partners reported more love, more fun, better conversation, higher dedication and less feeling of being trapped than close partners.
• Idealization is part of the story. Stafford and Reske (1990) and Stafford and Merolla (2007) found long-distance partners idealize each other more and are more satisfied with their communication. That idealization helps keep the relationship stable while apart — and makes the reunion harder.

Communication patterns

• In a week-long diary study, Jiang and Hancock (2013) found long-distance couples interacted less often than close couples, but disclosed more about themselves and idealized their partner's behaviour more — which produced greater feelings of intimacy.
• Our observation, not a research finding: in the couples we hear from, trouble tracks a mismatch between partners' preferred contact frequency more than the frequency itself. See how often to talk in an LDR.
• We haven't found solid evidence that any particular channel (video vs. voice vs. text) causes better outcomes. Happier couples may simply video-call more.

Visits and time apart

• The closest thing to evidence on visit gaps: Stafford and Merolla (2007) found that longer stretches between face-to-face visits, together with extreme idealization, predicted instability once couples became geographically close. It's a finding about reunion, not proof of a magic interval.
• We found no reliable data on how often long-distance couples typically visit, and no study establishing a "never go more than three months apart" threshold. We've removed earlier visit-frequency figures from this page for that reason. For the practical side, see the LDR timeline guide.
• Figures that circulate online for average distance (e.g. "125–175 miles") and average duration (e.g. "14 months") have no traceable source that we could find, so we don't repeat them.

Mental health

• Guldner (1996) compared 164 college students in long-distance relationships with 170 in close ones and found the long-distance group reported more depressive symptoms. Causation is unclear, and the sample was students in the 1990s.
• Loneliness is one of the most commonly described difficulties of distance, but we have not found a reliable figure for how many long-distance partners experience it. If it's hitting you, see coping with loneliness in an LDR and signs the distance is affecting your mental health.

After closing the distance

The most actionable finding in the whole literature: closing the distance is a high-risk phase in its own right. In Stafford, Merolla and Castle (2006), about one-third of reunited couples broke up within three months. Participants described losing autonomy, learning both better and worse things about their partner, struggling to manage time, and more conflict and jealousy.

The lesson isn't "don't close the distance." It's "treat the move as a project, not as the finish line." In our experience, couples who do a trial run, talk through expectations before the move, and give themselves several months to renegotiate daily life cope better. More on this transition.

What we don't know

• The actual base-rate success of LDRs across the general population. The data we have is weighted toward college students and self-selected survey respondents.
• Outcomes for online-origin LDRs specifically — most studies don't separate couples who met online at a distance from couples who became long distance later.
• The effect of newer communication technologies (touch bracelets, always-on video) on outcomes. Anecdotal data only.
• Outcomes for same-sex, polyamorous and other non-traditional LDRs. The literature is dominated by monogamous heterosexual samples.

If we use a statistic in an article, we cite it. If we're stating an opinion or generalizing from conversations with couples, we say so. More on our research approach.

References

1. Dargie, E., Blair, K. L., Goldfinger, C., & Pukall, C. F. (2015). Go long! Predictors of positive relationship outcomes in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 41(2), 181–202.
2. Guldner, G. T. (1996). Long-distance romantic relationships: Prevalence and separation-related symptoms in college students. Journal of College Student Development, 37(3), 289–296.
3. Guldner, G. T., & Swensen, C. H. (1995). Time spent together and relationship quality: Long-distance relationships as a test case. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 12(2), 313–320.
4. Institute for Family Studies (2016). Married, alone: The increase in commuter marriages. ifstudies.org (citing US Census Bureau data).
5. Jiang, L. C., & Hancock, J. T. (2013). Absence makes the communication grow fonder: Geographic separation, interpersonal media, and intimacy in dating relationships. Journal of Communication, 63(3), 556–577.
6. Kelmer, G., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S., & Markman, H. J. (2013). Relationship quality, commitment, and stability in long-distance relationships. Family Process, 52(2), 257–270.
7. KIIROO / OnePoll (October 2018). Survey of 1,000 US adults who had been in a long-distance relationship (commercial poll, as reported by StudyFinds).
8. Krapf, S. (2018). Moving in or breaking up? The role of distance in the development of romantic relationships. European Journal of Population, 34(3), 313–336.
9. Rosenfeld, M. J., Thomas, R. J., & Hausen, S. (2019). Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(36), 17753–17758.
10. Stafford, L. (2005). Maintaining long-distance and cross-residential relationships. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
11. Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(1), 37–54.
12. Stafford, L., Merolla, A. J., & Castle, J. D. (2006). When long-distance dating partners become geographically close. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23(6), 901–919.
13. Stafford, L., & Reske, J. R. (1990). Idealization and communication in long-distance premarital relationships. Family Relations, 39(3), 274–279.